churches like business?

I find myself very, very tired these days. Not because of lack of sleep but rather because I'm spiritually exhausted.

I made the 'mistake' of re-initiating contact with the big guy upstairs and I don't think he's letting me back out on him again - however absurd that might sound to many. I can't get away from my faith anyhow, but I also cannot 'give in' to it. Precisely because it would be 'giving in'! I have some notion that to become a christian again (in the original meaning of the word) would be to come crawling back and to humiliate (not just humble) myself in front of all the people I left with a proud heart, head held high because I refused to give in to their theology that hinges on too many cultural fashions.

Is it not possible to be in a vivant relationship with God without succumbing to christian trends, always being the first to learn the newest songs from the biggest christian artists? Without having to be the worshipper who jumps around the most during a worship session (jam-packed with drum- and guitar solos, unbelievably energetic choir voices and catchy intro's)? Is it possible to surround oneself in a christian gathering that is run more like a proficient company rather than a social club?

Okay okay, I'm 'bitching' but why can't one complain if one doesn't agree? As long as the complainers don't starting working against the boss(es), it should be alright to complain.

Yes, more like the business world! Or am I wrong? What am I missing?

the denmark I love

As I am a smoker who can't smoke indoors, I am 'confined' every evening to 6-7 minutes on the sidewalk in front of the place where I live. However, this provides for me a beautiful moment to stop and think about the day, a break before I sleep, instead of filling my head with trivial activities until I'm in my bed. More often than not I come back in with a new song idea in my head or sometimes a new post for this blog. Tonight, though, I came in with a light heart because of the rain.

Yes, its raining in Denmark in sharp contrast to the heat wave that has swept over most of Europe the last month. For a couple of days, my country has turned back into the country I love with fresh, cool air, a bare minimum of insect activity (particularly flying ones) and quiet streets providing solitude for the ones with crowded minds and hearts.

On another such lonely, chilly night a couple of weeks ago, I put on my winter coat to go buy milk and all of a sudden I missed tucking the coat around me to keep the wind from sneaking in and the way keys, wallet, cigs and my mobile each had a pocket designated according to factors such as accessibility, size and fit of pocket (to prevent rattling and bulging), priority and frequency of use. How wonderful it is to live in a country that provides so many excuses to wear such a coat!

Denmark is a comfortable, user-friendly safe haven, where one can simply relax and enjoy the above-average asphalt under the tires of one's eco-friendly bicycle without necessarily breaking sweat for not wasting resources on gas or public transportation.